One matatu, two matatu, three matatu, four...

If rush hour in Nairobi can be compared to the Kenyan diet: matatus are to traffic what ugali is to dinner.

They are the staple of Kenyan transportation.

By law, matatus are supposed to be painted white with a broken yellow stripe around them.

But unlike ugali (that white maize meal on nearly every Kenyan dinner table), there is some variety in matatus. The owners observe the white paint, yellow stripe law but most also personalise the vans with names and custom decals.

I've seen decal photos of golf stars, rap stars, athletic brand logos, Bob Marley and that blonde female tennis player who's better known for her modelling than her tennis game.

But it's the matatu names that are most entertaining. Here, in no particular order, is a list:

Latino

Feel the Flow

God First

Armstrong

Oxygen

That's That

Twista

O2

ExoBus

Prizen Break

Glory 2 God

Tiger Woods

Baraka

Storm

Nasty

The Brainee

Elite

Genesis

Emmanuel

Arsenal

MTITO RAHA

Promise

Natasha

Sancta Maria

Directline

God's GUIDANCE

Hustler

Hustla

Santa

Dirty Trix

NICE

Vector

Don Escobar

Adidas

LaMour

Smarter

HOT JUSTON

Orlando

Golden Cencer

Wamsaa

Everlasting God

HARHAR MAHADEV

Diplomats

Bethel

Wamsaa Comrade

Anita

Outkast

Aluta

Blessed Tidings

Fabricas

Flames

Vista

No Way Out

JIUMBE WAZITO

Desert Runner

RIOT

Lone Ranger

WAHE GURU

Aluta (again)

Great is God

NGAMIONE

LifeStyle

Double K

Kikumbatu

She Drives Crazy

Madam 008

Sunrise

Ngeni Foa

Talkie

Beyond

Mash Allah

Highway Member

But so far my favorite (I kicked myself for not having my camera on me, to snap a photo) is the Louis Vuitton matatu.

Just like knock-off bags slung over shoulders around the world, and the just-as-ugly designer originals, this matatu is covered with those LVs and little fleurs de lis. It's a _designer_ matatu.